deep unhealed male/female sexual dynamics

With my first DSM, at that point, no timeline presented in which my Twin would appear, so I kept pushing him towards a mission he claimed to want, but never pursued. It made me purely Masculine — after a life that drove me so far into it, that I’d lost my Feminine essence to the point I was way unbalanced.

When I met my Twin by fluke during the dimension shift in 2020, it forced me to not only fully confront what I’d known happened, but I felt helpless against, given my DSM is too Feminine-aligned — but to fully evolve into my Feminine.

Ohhhh, I loved it. We were rockstars on mission and in union. I hoped it’d never end … but I should’ve known. He skipped his Moon just like me, so …

The DSM I met in 2010 and I’ve just concluded our soul contract — largely facilitated by meeting my Twin, and getting onto my true path.

Prior to that, I’d met two KS in ‘06 who were critical to my mission development. One even shared it, but is a narcissist. Ironically, the one I married. The other never ‘awoke’.

Contracts with both concluded in 2018, and the divorce finalised in December 2020.

Many would call the mission-related one a ‘false twin’ but I’d get a second shot at that with another KS, this one on what I THOUGHT was my mission — we met 14/02/14 believe it or not — but really just had a TF contract with me and carried a soul fragment of me and my Twin. Basically, that I had to retrieve, in order for my Twin to be able to jump the timeline. Long story, heh, but I think you get it. He wasn’t on mission yet; returning the fragment to us both allowed me to heal and him to get on mission. Without that, we’d never have met — and we wouldn’t even be Twins if we DID meet. As he would’ve had no reason to shift to the dimension where we are.

So upon leaving my karmic and toxic marriage, I got the uncharacteristic urge to go on a dating site though I wasn’t looking. I met two beautiful DSM — one whom I helped to awaken and found his Twin, but ran into some deep karma. The other was awake, and we both recognised that we’d been meeting up in the astral. But I knew we weren’t Twins immediately, but that his was out there. We kept each other on path, and I held us back from getting involved to avoid complications that would conflict with his mission or union. He met his Twin the following year, and they entered union fast.

I keep connecting at random to my Twin in the astral, and one DSM that my late godfather set me up with

 because he’s pure light.

But I also realised reeeeeeal quick he’s also gay.

Which is fine! We’re pretty tight in another dimension, and I’m not looking for sex or romance. It’s sacred to me. If it happens, it happens. It only to exchange silly cat memes to keep me from getting depressed.

But I actually have built an incredible support divine network, since I started this journey with the community, back in 2011. (11 years ago?!

Woooooow. I’m a veteran.

) And while it’s true I can get lonely af not being with my Twin, I don’t get the point of another romance. Oh, sure, I’ll humbug the whole thing sometimes. Have ‘a Towel Moment’ as my late mentor, and now guide, says. But we all do, right?

I’ve even told my Twin that another is not manifesting to me, as he assumed would happen when he sacrificed our union in early 2021. But I’m pretty sure that was both outta fear and, as he said, ‘trusting in the journey’ and having total faith in the universe. He wants me to do the same. But sometimes I dunno the limits of that, or how much agency I’m supposed to employ.

Do I need to make the decision to move to his state? Is the universe’s role in that plopping a shiny new Netflix studios 15 minutes from his house? Perhaps.

Did it ‘require’ me to fulfill my own yearning to be an active culture jammer by joining his movement? Maybe.

If I did NOTHING — would I still end up where he is?

Probably not, right?

In which case, I’m thinking that’s how he figured that I’d ‘manifest another Twin’. Which, in actuality, is just a DSM. Or what I call a ‘perfect soulmate’ — but really, only if you’ve sacrificed your role in the Collective.

It’s like getting an honourable discharge from the military, but from the cosmos. It’s where God issues the reprieve.

And I haven’t. Far, far from it.

I eagerly took it upon myself to play a spiritual role in his community, helping those I encountered who sought me out to awaken to their soul’s journey.

Our being Twins, and being honest about it, inspired many to come to me and share their own experiences, and questions.

It gave them a space in which to have a conversation they had NO idea how to begin. And that’s AWESOME.

I’d say the whole thing took a hit when I fell into a depression in our separation. But I’ve taken a good long look at the benefits and drawbacks of each scenario.

Even as he’s continuing the mission solo, by choice, it makes no sense to me to drop out now, when we could change lives of hundreds — and, I believe, eventually millions.

A ‘false twin’ showed up right after he sacrificed our union. I mean like on the spot.

SO bizarre. We even live in separate states but on streets with the EXACT same names. Our names all start with A, blah blah blah.

I REALLY had a freak-out moment where I was wondering if she was his Twin!

 But I felt the energy. Strong KS. I mean DEEP. We’ve both got karma with her.

But I swear … had he met her first, and NOT known how to read the energy?

NOT even awake? Ohhhhh, yeah. He’d DEFINITELY think she was his Twin.

And so would everybody else! Because the second I showed up it’s EXACTLY what they said about us, having NO idea of our connection yet. Then when we entered this separation — a few said the same of her, and OH MY GOD I WANTED TO SCREAM.

It just goes to show you how changeable one’s perception is.

It’s ONLY the energy that never lies.

So I realised my Twin and I have reached a point where we’ve cleared enough karma we don’t need to involve others in the same types of contracts as before — like when he had a casual girlfriend, whom he knew was a KS, and I’d not concluded my relationship with my first DSM.

Wait! No … SECOND. I met my first DSM in 2007. Beautiful connection.

We’re both awake. Would’ve been my brother here, but circumstances prevented that, so we managed to connect anyway as adults and forge our bond as friends.

Or … third.

I think my very first DSM was actually my dearest ex-boyfriend. He knew we were soulmates, but his own karma prevented us from ever coming together in a divine union.

We were both so young — 19 and 17, after all. I’d say he’s a KS, due to his never having awakened and turning against the journey completely,

but our energy was so beautiful. The synchronicity that led us to one another so strong. I know we had karma, but the Divine played such a powerful role. Better or worse, we changed each other deeply and propelled our mutual evolution.

The others were all KS.

I’ve never had a relationship that wasn’t either KS or, in a rare case, a DSM.

Regardless, I’m a bit blown away that some DF are only now going to begin meeting a DSM? Woooooow.

That said, I can weigh in — if you’d like.

A lotta Twin connections go south because there’s too much replaying of old family dynamics that are being triggered by one thing and one thing alone — intimacy.

Relationships are just the way we encounter a set of situations that aid in our soul’s evolution or offer experience. Or as I cheekily say ‘the soul plays with itself’.

 Though, really, that’s what a Twin does.

Look at it this way; kid wants to build a Lego castle. He’s got two hands. It’s gonna take awhile.

Twins give the Divine the ability to have FOUR hands, and to go twice as fast.

But if one Twin wants to build it, and the other wants to knock it down — you’re going just as fast as you would solo, or worse, impeding progress completely. The lack of cooperation creates a situation that benefits no one.

So the ONLY goal, honestly, is to get BOTH Twins (or ‘the soul’) on to the same page. That’s it.

That’s why separation happens. Because it’s clear the soul has to go play with some other beings in order to explore more options and have other experiences — before it can try tackling the demands of the Twin connection again.

Some people freak out when I say that’s the ONLY purpose — cooperation — because they think it means you don’t have to have a romance at all.

And it’s true in some cases. You might not.

A lotta Twins go crazy over each other BECAUSE they’ve got deep unhealed male/female sexual dynamics — which, I’m not sayin’ Freud nailed it, but he had a legitimate point. Jung’s more true to form, but the absolute truth, at both levels of soul and personality, is that we MUST balance these characteristics within OURSELVES.

You can actually grow with anyone, so long as they challenge you.

Twins tend to happen as an insurance policy to guarantee a certain purpose will be served, or a major mission accomplished.

It’s about achieving a goal. Everything else is to get you there.

So DO invite your DSM into your life with open arms. And if you fall madly in love, enjoy that too. If they help you get into your mission — so much the better.

But here’s where I fell into a trap that wasted a lotta time.

Don’t expect them to join you. REALLY. Even if they want to. Because HERE is the truth …

Your DM will ALREADY be wanting THAT mission. I’m serious. It’s spooky and weird — and it’s TRUE. You won’t have to drag him, kicking and screaming. Or do everything FOR him, because he’s not inspired to do it himself.

And ya know WHY that’s the kiss of death? Because it makes you DO. And as a DF, in a Twin connection, we must learn to BE.

That’s the hardest thing for a DF, to be honest. When in union with our Twin, we just get to BE. But in separation, we’re pushed back into doing. So we can get unbalanced.

Quickly.

The DSM helps to even out the rough edges and to shift you more towards the area where you’re becoming too strong. Doing too much? They’ll come in to take a load off. Being too much? They’ll kick your ass in gear to start doing again.

But they won’t take the role of your Twin in the mission.

Ever. It’s just not designed for them. So long as you don’t expect that, you can enjoy your time with a DSM for however long it lasts.

Some choose to stay with their DSM, as they feel completely fulfilled and haven’t gone too deep into mission with their Twin, it’s not a huge loss.

Some call upon DSM contracts ‘as needed’ to keep the vibe high, the focus clear, and the mission on track.

So however you go about it, be thankful for the helping hand from the Divine to keep you on path. Whether romance, bestie, or colleague.

As my Dad likes to say, especially as a DM in union for almost 50 years —