OSHO ON CAUSE OF SEXUAL DREAMS AND FANTASIES :
QUESTION :Beloved Master , when do I know if my sexual energy is transformed or just repressed ?
OSHO’S ANSWER :
It will not be difficult. It will be the simplest thing to know.
When sexual energy is repressed you will have sexual dreams ، you will have sexual fantasies — you cannot avoid them.
When sex energy is transformed, you will not have any sexual dreams, you will not have any sexual fantasies.
This is the simple criterion.
I will end with a small story: In Gautam Buddha’s time there was one beautiful woman — she was a prostitute , Amrapali. One Buddhist monk was just going to beg when Amrapali saw him. She was simply amazed because kings have been at her door , princes , rich people , famous people from all walks of life. But she had never seen such a beautiful person — and he was a monk , a beggar with a begging bowl. She was going on her golden chariot to her garden.
She told the bhikkhu , “ If you don’t mind , you can sit with me on the chariot and I will lead you wherever you want. ”
She was not thinking that the bhikkhu would be ready to do it , because it was known that Buddha did not allow his bhikkhus to talk to women , or to touch any woman. And to ask him to sit on a golden chariot in the open street where there were thousands of people , hundreds of other bhikkhus , other monks. She was not hoping that he would accept the invitation , but he said , “ That’s good ” , and he climbed on the chariot and sat by her side. It was a scene.
She was one of the wealthiest women the world had known.
The world knows only two women — one in the west , Cleopatra , and one in the east , Amrapali — who are thought to be the world’s most beautiful women. And a bhikkhu with a begging bowl ! A crowd was following the chariot , “ What is going on there? Nobody has ever heard…”
And then the bhikkhu said , “ My camp has come. Thank you for being so kind to a poor man. You can drop me here. ”
But Amrapali said , “ From tomorrow , the rainy season is going to be here.
” In the rainy season the bhikkhus , the monks , don’t move. They stay in one place — only for the rainy season.
The remaining months they are always on the move from one village to another village. “ From tomorrow , the rainy season is going to begin.
I invite you to stay with me. You can ask your master. ”
He said , “ Jolly good , I will ask the master. And I don’t see that he will object , because I know him — he knows me , and he knows me more than I know him. ”
But before he reached , many others had reached and complained that the man had broken the discipline , the prestige , the respectability , that the man should be expelled immediately.
The bhikkhu came — Buddha asked him , “ What happened ? ”
He told the whole thing and he said , “ The woman has asked me to stay with her for the coming four months rainy season. And I have said to her , “ As I know my master I don’t think there is any problem , and my master knows me better than I know him. So what do you say ? ”
There were ten thousand monks , and there was pindrop silence. Gautam Buddha said , “ You can accept her invitation. ”
It was a shock ! People were thinking he would be expelled , and he was being rewarded ! But what could they do.
They said , “ Just wait. After four months Buddha will see that he has committed a grave mistake.
That young man will be corrupted in that place , in a prostitute’s house. Have you ever heard of a monk staying for four months…? ”
The man stayed for four months , and every day rumors were coming that — “ this is going wrong ” and “ that is going wrong. ” And Buddha said , “ Just wait , let him come. I know he is a man who can be trusted. Whatever happens he will tell himself. I don’t have to depend on rumors. ”
And when the monk came , Amrapali was with him. He touched Buddha’s feet and said , “ Amrapali wants to be initiated. ”
Buddha said , “ Look , about all these rumors , when a real meditator goes to a prostitute , the prostitute has to change into a meditator.When a repressed person who has all the sexuality and is sitting on a volcano goes to a prostitute , he falls down.He was already waiting for it — not even a prostitute was needed. Any woman would have done that. ”
The question is saying that all the religions have taught you to repress your sexual energy , and they have created repressed people all around. And those repressed people are very angry with me for the simple reason that I am saying repression is not going to help you. The energy has to be transformed , otherwise the energy will drag you down more into darkness than towards light.
Do not repress anything. Whatever is natural is good. Whatever is natural is to be accepted with totality. You have to do just one thing : don’t be against nature but just be a watcher. Just remain a witness in everything , whether it is eating , whether it is walking , whether it is making love , just remain a witness and you will be surprised. Witnessing is an absolute guarantee of transformation , and you will see the difference. You won’t have any sexual dreams , you won’t have any sexual fantasies. And if you repress , then you are going to be in trouble.
Even Mahatma Gandhi , who was repressing his sexuality , at the age of seventy years was having nocturnal emissions.
It is ugly.
But I am grateful to him because he was truthful. He at least accepted it.
Your so – called saints will not accept it. Repression will show itself — there is no doubt about it.
Some day or other it will bring sex to your mind , either waking or sleeping.
But if the energy is transformed then you will have a radiance , a glow , a certain light around you , a certain silence surrounding you ; a blissfulness , a coolness that not only you will feel but those who are open also will feel.
If you just pass by their side they will feel that not only a person has passed but a phenomenon has passed. Something of your inner core will have touched them. Some music is bound to be heard by those who have ears.
And as far as you are concerned there is an absolute distinction : you won’t have any ideas , waking or sleeping , about sex.